you can make nearly any object into a good insult if you put ‘you absolute’ in front of it
example: you absolute coat hanger
as well u can just add ‘ed’ to any object and it’s sounds like you were really drunk
example: i was absolutely coat hangered last night
don’t worry, you’re still in the “early life” part of your wikipedia page
i wonder how people describe me when they’re talking about me to someone who’s never met me
Family and Friends: “What could be better than having kids?!”
Me:
Why was Shrek’s soundtrack so incredible like who sat down and decided that a movie about an ogre would have a beautiful Rufus Wainwright ballad followed by a Smash Mouth/Eddie Murphy cover of I’m A Believer and how can I thank them
people who don’t examine every grape they eat are brave people
do people literally do this?? just rinse the grapes with running water before you eat them
dude the grapes could be mushy and gross you gotta get the harder grapes
